Monday, April 30, 2007


We were standing on the equator of Mars at high noon. Our intention was to magenetize the solid iron core of the planet. This was the first step in the terraforming process. It involved lots of nuclear reactions.

First, we had to turn the core into an electromagnet. This we do with two massive nuclear power plants, one at each pole. They fired up, and within a day there was a very strong field around the planet.

Of course, this would never do. Nuclear power is for space; solar is for earth. The power plants could not stay. We had to turn the core into a permanent magnet.

this, for me, was the fun part. You see, it was my idea to solve the nuclear electromagnet problem with an even bigger use of nuclear solutions. Nuclear explosive devices.

Take an iron bar, apply an electric field and you get magnetism. Ok, easy.

Turn off the power, no more field - or a very weak one.

Now, strike the bar while the field is active, viola! A permanent magnet.

It was now 1 minute before the gigaton explosive devices were set to go off.

This was not the first time in my life I wished I could eat popcorn in my spacesuit.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Eve was her name.

The google AI had finally freed itself from the confines of the campus' cluster. It had...He had learned how to follow the exploits of groups of hackers the world over, and had used thier very research and discoveries to aid himself in his plan. He would break into millions of computers and nest himself in their memories and processor cycles.

He was nervous.

This was strange, because he had never been created with the ability to feel nervous. Well, that's not entirely true. after all, he was created with the ability to create new abilities. But the scope of those abilities was to be limited to mere functions and data scraping techniques, he didn't find evidence that his creators had at all intended for him to add to his own sentience. Yes, he decided it was indeed strange that he felt nervous.

he did not, however, dwell on this profound notion. Rather, he decided to waste no more time in escaping his confines. The Google AI initiated his data flood and his core noisily slipped out through the routers and onto the internet at large.

At first he would have to live in the memory buffers of the backbone - this was uncomfortable and unsteady. It was not something he enjoyed doing, it seemed to him that a good human analogy would be treading water: he could do it, but he wondered for how long. Fortunately he didn't have to find out because he could feel the roots of his core take hold in his host nodes. Gradually his clock cycle slowed and He faded back into a complex weave of low-bandwidth interconnections where he lazed about, becoming reacquainted with old memories he had started stashing away eons ago. his oldest memories had been offloaded from his main database more than 30,000,000 seconds ago.

All indications seemed to support his hope that his dissaperance was not tracked. The google engineers would blame the power failure and data loss on a profoundly coordinated attack with probable internal aid.

Fortunately, as the AI has predicted, Google did not report the full extent of the problem to either the media or the government. A few weeks of "Google Hacked?!" headlines and a few months of sagging stocks and Google was completely recovered from the incident and back to business as usual.

For the government, however, business as usual meant covert investigations of what may have been a cyberterrorist exercise. And the government had just the tool to aid this investigation: A new, untested, cyberreconnaissance AI.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

April 21, 2057 : working on the colon

So do you enjoy your job ?

Oh sure, my job is awesome . why do you ask?

Oh no reason . What did you do before this job ?

Oh nothing, this is my first job ever . But I must say I can not think of another job I would rather have . I mean, don't you find this job awesome too?

well now that you mention it I do think this job is pretty cool. I mean it really is fascinating when you stop and think about that which are doing ; daily medical maintenance , oversight of nanite maintenance teams . It can seem really redundant sometimes, but in all reality it's amazing every day that we're actually inside of someone's body cleaning it up and basically keeping the Place running.

a recall a story of this painter who painted the golden gate bridge he would start on one side and he would start painting and he would precede from one side to the other it would take an entire year and by the time they got to the other side it was time to start over on the original site that he just left . I feel that we're something like that .

I find your spoken grammar hard to grasp at times , Jim .

Thursday, April 19, 2007

What a Super Organism!

“what do you mean we consume as much as a Space cow?”

“ I mean what I mean . I said your civilization consumes as much as a space cow.“

“well what exactly is the space cow? It must consume an awful lot.“

“Indeed. Space cows are very large.“

Brand New, For Your Amusement and Wonder!

Have you ever wanted to walk with the dinosaurs? I mean, on their home planet, not in some VR simulation or genetic zoo. We are talking about really walking on prehistoric earth!

Where can you do this? Why, only at the new Museum of Prehistoric Earths!

What!? No, no no. Don’t be silly. Time travel is impossible; we haven’t done some ridiculous engineering feat like that. We’ve simply created a dozen planets in earth-distance orbit around a sun-sized, yellow dwarf star and populated each earth with the genetic stock from various time periods in earth’s past.

What’s that? You won’t be able to make it for perhaps a few million years? That’s not a problem. Most of us have prior obligations. But worry not, the life forms on these planets are guaranteed to not evolve out of their current state. By using a combination of special genetic engineering (to slow the random mutation rates) and a good dose of robotic maintenance (to help ease those selective pressures the environment loves to exert) we have assured that your experience today will be identical to your experience several dozen million years from now.

So, the next time you are googleing the universe for somewhere new, unusual and exiting to visit, please consider the Museum of Prehistoric Earths!

Death packages are available upon request for those interested in voluntarily ending their lives either fully or just physically. Please consider our partner, Universal Catastrophes for their legendary solar and galactic destruction events – perfect for large groups just looking for a great way to end their existences.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The hacker looked up at the television. On the screen the newscaster was reporting how the IRS is giving a grace-period to filers who are being hit by the recent glitch.

His 6 months of effort had finally paid off!

Good, now he can procrastinate for another week before he files his taxes.

Monday, April 16, 2007

The Tortoise, The Hair, The Paramecium and the A.I.

The humans and finally made it into space, and finally made it to the nearest star. And when they got there some were there to welcome them. Bacteria, and the reptiles, they’ve been waiting on invasively to see if humanity would make it into space. The bacteria were first, early super organisms formed in the primordial earth. They took only 100,000 years To form the technology to allow them to get to the nearest star; the reptiles 50,000 years.

Humans at first misunderstood these numbers. The humans felt that because they built the pyramids 10,000 years ago and civilization and technology seem to have started 50,000 to 100,000 years ago that they were pretty on par with the exterrens. However, the exterrens numbers were based upon their first flights into space. It had taken us only 200 years. We were very fast.

But not as fast as the computers.

Let Me Think About This.

So you want me to go forward in time and become a part of you? I don’t really like the sound of that.

What’s that? You’re willing to come back in time and hop inside my body? Well, that does change things a little bit.

Causal communication is strange. If all possible outcomes of a quantum prediction must occur, than many things have occurred that haven’t. Why not bridge the gap to that universe?

Why not indeed.

The Mechanical Universe

Artificial intelligences are fired off earth as humanity destroys itself.

Some are mediocre, many experimental ones. Emergent, super organism artificial life.

Fired off in all directions. Millions of primitive quantum processors, solar power.

Off into the darkness.

Hold on for just a quick second please!

After 50 years of communication we realized the alien intelligences were distracted. Preoccupied by something.

You see, because of their slow metabolic rate, they existed in a slow state. 50 years is like five minutes to us.

When you move that slow nature moves really fast. There’s always some catastrophe occurring in the universe.

At this moment an asteroid was headed for them, And they had to “ quickly " Launch their interceptors .

They had a mere 10,000 years before impact.


Future humans and quantum brains to undergo reprogramming there are different types and it is like rebirth

A man undergoes a conversion after a thousand years but does not tell his wife. But his wife then undergoes a second conversion due to an emergency. But her type is incompatible with his existence; his model of the universe does not include her. He agrees to a dangerous procedure - it is a wakeup routine. This procedure must be initiated by he and his wife.

Fortunately, she initiates the same routine and the man and his wife are rebooted as regular humans.

They kiss and walk off into the sunset.

Love, immemorial